Roller Coaster
by autumnangelwrites
Summary: In which Steph and Dick are Damian's parents for the day, and Bruce is secretly a good father.


**a/n:** _The last prompt in my challenge! Now that this is over, I have no idea what to do with my life. This one took forever to type out, and I'm still not sure I'm happy with it._

 _Also, I was going to wait until later to post this, but I've been super productive today. Plus, I'm having a Sense8 marathon with my roommates in about an hour, sooooo..._

 _Thanks for sticking with me, guys! Your reviews/favorites/follows really mean a lot._

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 **20\. Roller Coaster**

"He's dead?" Dick made sure to keep his voice low, mindful of the crowd of families around him. He looked over just as Steph and Damian cruised by on the teacup ride, Steph cackling while Damian attacked the spinning wheel like a man possessed. Despite the somber news, Dick couldn't help but grin. "That's a twist. Was it Jason?"

"Not this time," Bruce responded, his voice low and tired. "The guy saw the GCPD giving a profile on the news. Apparently, he got jumpy and took a handful of pills." A deep sigh sounded over the static-y connection and Dick felt his gut twist a little. Bruce always took it the hardest when their targets didn't survive, even if said target was a serial killer with a preference for children.

"So how did the police find him?"

"Neighbor called it in. They recognized the profile, and they knew that Donohue was working at the same amusement park that the kids kept getting abducted from. Gordon's pretty sure that the killings took place at another, more remote location, but they're still searching. It's not like we can take him to trial now, anyway." Another sigh. "There's no need for the undercover work now. You three can head back."

Dick sought out his accomplices again; this time, they were exiting the ride with identical evil grins. The unfortunate people that had been placed in Steph and Damian's teacup looked a little green.

"I think we'll stay for a bit," Dick told his surrogate father. "Though the crime scenes don't hint at a partner, we might be able to weed out some more information on Donohue. Coworkers see a lot more than they're given credit for."

Bruce harrumphed in a way that made it clear that he did _not_ fall for Dick's weak excuse, but he gave his son permission to stay at the park.

"Don't let Damian fill up on snacks," Bruce lectured, sounding a bit less like Batman and a bit more like a dad. "Alfred will have my head if he doesn't eat all of his dinner."

"Don't worry," Dick grinned, despite the fact that Bruce couldn't see him. "He's already told me that corndogs are an abomination and that cotton candy is much too childish for a Wayne _or_ an al Ghul." There was no reason to mention that Damian had gone on to eat two of both. Bruce hummed in response, sounding like he suspected as much anyway.

"Be back around seven. Patrol won't start until eleven tonight, but I'm sure Damian will need a nap." Dick barely withheld his snickers; he knew all of his mother henning would eventually rub off on Bruce.

Dick managed to end the call and pocket the phone just before Steph and Damian made it over to him, which he mentally congratulated himself about. If Damian knew that his father had called, he would want to give up the pretense of being a normal ten year old immediately, and Dick couldn't have that. He looped an arm around his youngest brother, then another around Steph, completing the image of a wholesome, close-knit family.

"Any sign of Donohue?" Damian asked, his voice subdued for privacy.

"Not yet, little D. I think there were some reports about kids going missing by the roller coasters. Are you up for the challenge?"

Damian tutted.

"As though I would be overcome by a mere _ride._ Let's go, Gr— _Dad."_ Dick let Damian trot ahead of them, completing the look of an overexcited kid with indulgent parents, and grimaced at the knowing look on Steph's face.

"Donohue's not here, is he?" Dick tried to look innocent, but Steph knew him better than that. "I saw you on the phone as we passed." Dick stiffened a little. "Relax, Damian was too busy trying to create a whirling cup of doom to notice."

Dick shared Steph's grin at that. That sounded like Damian.

"Donohue's dead," Dick said. He hurried to add, "Not by any of us!" and Steph's stricken expression eased immediately.

"Pills. Bruce was calling me to tell me that the undercover op was off." Dick glanced toward Damian again. "But—"

"But you want to stay and play house," Steph finished. Dick gave her a pleading look and she laughed. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell the demon brat. I'm cool with being called Mom for a few more hours. Even if Damian won't say it, he needs this break. This is the most normal thing I've ever seen the kid do! I'm not about to ruin it by telling him there's no serial killer to lure out of hiding."

Dick gave her a bright smile, then tugged her closer and kissed her temple in gratitude. A nearby couple cooed at the picture they made, making Steph wrinkle her nose ever so slightly.

"You know," she told him, nearing the roller coasters, "acting like Damian's mom surprisingly isn't the weirdest part of this whole thing. The weirdest part is pretending that I married _you._ "

"Hey!" Dick cried, shoving his fake wife gently. She burst into laughter at his mock outrage, then pulled away from him and jogged over to Damian.

"Daddy's on a rampage!" she sputtered out between giggles, urging Damian to run faster. Damian complied, turning back to make a face at his former mentor as Steph latched onto his arm. Grinning, Dick gave chase.

"So, who's going to ride the Green Giant with me?" Dick called out, pointing to the tallest roller coaster in the park.

"Me!" Steph and Damian chorused, slowing their jog as they neared the line. Steph still had her arm linked with Damian's, and the youngest Robin was giving her the most genuine smile Dick had ever seen. He whipped out his phone and snapped a picture before either of them could move, then went to join them in the line.

When Bruce entered his study late the next afternoon, he was greeted with several picture frames scattered on his desk. Sighing, he picked one up and mentally prepared himself for Dick's antics.

Then he took a closer look.

Damian and Steph were clutching each other, grinning broadly and gesturing up to a gigantic roller coaster.

Damian was eating one of those cotton candy treats that he had supposedly refused, little tufts of pink scattered on his cheeks.

Dick, Steph, and Damian were obviously mid-ride, with various looks of excitement comically captured by a hidden camera.

The last frame, however, made Bruce pause. It was of Dick, Steph, and Damian, obviously getting ready to pose for a picture. Dick was smiling brightly at the camera, his hand caught in Damian's short hair. Damian was turned toward Dick, obviously scolding the man, but the corners of his mouth were tugged up and he was looking at his older brother fondly. Steph had an arm wrapped around Dick waist and another on Damian's shoulder, her expression openly amused. The image was slightly blurred, but instead of ruining the picture's appeal, it magnified it. Bruce examined the picture carefully, a smile tugging at his lips, before crossing the room and hanging the small frame on the wall, just below the frame of his parents.

As he examined his new decoration, a sense of satisfaction settled in Bruce's chest. He _knew_ that fabricating this whole undercover op would turn out well.

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 **end notes:**

 _1) I know Damian is super OOC in this, but I imagined that he worked really,_ really _hard to imitate a regular ten year old for his mission. I also imagine Steph and Dick doing things like offering him cotton candy, and going "Well, if you were a_ normal _boy..." when Damian refuses it._

 _2) I love the headcanon of Steph and Dick acting like Dami's parents. I mean, Dick basically is his dad, and Steph is always trying to get him to act his age, so... It's my favorite thing and I hope I did it justice._

 _3) Sneaky Bruce is sneaky. I like to think that Bruce realizes how awkward his relationship with Damian is, so he sets things like this up. That way Damian can pretend he has normal parents without Bruce accidentally ruining it or something. It doesn't excuse Bruce's behavior, but I think it's definitely something he would do._

 _I hope you enjoyed it!_


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